WHAT THE EFK IS EFK?
EFK = The Efficiency of Fucking Knowing.
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It’s not a flaw.
It’s biology.
It’s energy.
It’s being human.
But no one teaches you what to do when you’re burning from the inside.
Sure, as a kid you learned stop, drop, and roll —
but that was for external fires.
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What about the internal ones?
The ones inside your nervous system?
When your schedule, your relationships, your body, your life
are a smoke show — and not the cute, sexy kind?
Let’s get something straight:
You will always be flammable.
But you don’t have to always be on fire.
You’re not broken.
You’re just inflamed.
(Okay, maybe you’re inflamed AF…
but let’s start with “inflamed.”)
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HOW CRISPY ARE YOU?
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Before we go any further…
before we jump into what the EFK is EFK…
We need to assess the situation.
Think of this like Glinda the Good Witch asking:
“Are you a good witch… or a crispy witch?”
Maybe you’re not a crispy fuck at all?!
Time to choose your fire level:
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DEEP FRIED CHICKEN NUGGET
You’re not just crispy —
you’re deep fried.
Crying-in-a-Zoom-meeting fried.
“Don’t touch me unless you brought snacks and therapy” fried.
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SPICY & CRISPY AF
You’re technically functioning —
but you definitely require a warning label.
Burnt edges.
Snappy replies.
Still spicy… sexy in the right light,
but also slightly scary.
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BBQ LEVEL
Grill marks in all the right places —
but definitely toasty.
Still fit for human consumption…
but let’s be honest: should you be doing BBQ every day?
Signature vibe:
Saying “I’m fine” and lying, like, 75% of the time.
Let's begin with a universal truth..
Humans are flammable.
All of us.
Yes, even you.
Literally and metaphorically.
Emotionally. Energetically. Physically.
We overheat.
We overload.
We freak the fuck out.
Or we smolder quietly until we implode.